WoWW: What Breaks a Marriage

We are THAT Family is one of my favorite blogs. What Kristen says is not new, but like all biblically based advice on marriage, it bears repeating. And repeating. I’m grateful this was delivered right to my inbox and into my soul.

_______________________________________________________

2 AM.

I was wide awake tossing and turning. Terrell asked what was wrong and I told him to go back to sleep, it’s just a backache.

I slipped out of bed and looked for the heating pad. (Everyone over 40 has one of these, right?)  I couldn’t find it and so I started a hot bath. While I soaked, I assumed my husband snoozed, but I heard some banging around and felt bad that now two of us were awake.

Hoping the hot water did the trick, I got back into bed and was surprised to find a warmed heating pad on my side of the bed.

I smiled in the dark, now understanding the creaking doors and opening drawers I heard earlier. My husband gave up sleep to serve me. I whispered thank you.

It’s the little things that make a marriage.

As I lay there and tried to go back to sleep, I couldn’t help but think about being irritated earlier in the day with this same guy. He offered to clean the kitchen after I made dinner. But when I went to get a refill on my drink, I noticed he didn’t wipe off the food on the counters.  I know, unforgivable, right? I complained about it. And probably sighed as I did the job right. I can be a brat.

It’s the little things that break a marriage.

It’s all in how we look at it.

It’s all in what we do with those little things.

Marriages usually face big hurdles at some time or another. We protect and try to fight our way to victory. We are often aware of the giants, the big problems. But for many, the true danger is in the small, day-in-and-day-out stuff that can settle deep in our hearts and grow like a bad seed. These are the small foxes that spoil the vine that Song of Solomon 2:15 warns us of–the little annoyances are like termites, nearly unnoticeable, but they cause significant damage. Sometimes we let the smallest grievances cause the biggest destruction.

At the same time, when we look for and acknowledge the little things in our marriage and recognize them as gifts from our spouse, we strengthen our marriage. When I really look for these gifts throughout my day-the way he offers to clean up the kitchen after I cook or fills my car up with gasoline so I don’t have to or the way he turns his alarm clock down so it doesn’t wake me or the way he surprises me with a sweet tea– these are the gifts in my life and they are countless.

They add up-if I stop to add them.

The small stuff can break a marriage if we let it, but it can also make a marriage.

It’s all in how we look at it.

 

Find more from Kristen and her humble family at We Are THAT Family.