I love our master bedroom. I love retreating here, resting here, and reading here with Andrew or even alone. It’s a lovely place where I feel comfortable and peaceful, which is a slight contrast to the daily grind and tugging toddlers beyond the door. Before a week ago, I dreaded coming back here. I dreaded the the constant state of mess and confusion that overwhelmed what was supposed to be somewhere to get away from it all. A place more conducive to nightmares than sweet dreams, it was room of resentment since neither Andrew nor I could seem to keep our junk in check. It felt pokey and small, uninviting, and uncomfortable. I was humiliated if any guest happened to see it and quickly followed up with excuses for its appearance.
NO LONGER.
It’s been a week and our appreciation of our room is totally different. With a little effort on our parts, we enjoy our room now and we’re learning to pinpoint exactly what needed to change for this transformation to take place. So far, we’ve narrowed it down to a simple, 3-step approach:
photo from myhomeideas.com
1) Make it Yours – After 2 1/2 years of living here and painting/decorating nearly every room, we finally got around to ours. I asked for a painted master bedroom for my birthday and over a weekend, the walls changed from pistachio green (clearly meant for the previous owners’ decor) to what I’ve described as “heavenly blue.” Finally I feel as though our room is our room after doing something so simple as painting over someone else’s color. The walls are decked with frames and photos of us – engagement and wedding photos – while before they were bare in anticipation of painting “someday”; and curtains hang over each window, making the whole space inviting and cozy. I read once that if you want to make a room feel comfortable, add more fabric – throw blankets, curtains, a few toss pillows, area rugs, etc. will genuinely add warmth to your sacred space.
2) THE NO KID-STUFF ZONE – Sure, our boys and their toys make it into our room, but their stuff leaves as soon as they do. Should I find a stray sock, book, or plastic noisemaker just an inch across our threshold, it is promptly removed, even if that means being lazily nudged an inch the other way into the hall. Every single room in this house has evidence of toddler boys – the kitchen is a mess of sippy cups, the dining room has crumbs and long-lost Hot Wheels, the living room has a whole wall of toys, not to mention the boys’ room itself, and I could go on. Every. single. room…except for ours. Our room is a place to retreat and relax away from playful chaos, crying, and the favorite Big Red Chicken episode of Dora. Our whole family shares the house, but just as the boys have their own room, a designated space just for them, so do we. Here we can focus on ourselves and each other without the distraction of parental duty. If you don’t have little ones invading your room like we do, ensure that things from around the house stay out; cups and plates, papers from the office, bathroom towels, anything that clearly belongs somewhere else. Which brings me to #3…
3) Keep it clean – This is a bit of a challenge since I tend to tear the room apart when finding shirts and shoes. Aside from that, laundry piles up and clutter gathers easily when you casually toss miscellany here and there. When moving stuff back into our room after Andrew and my father-in-law painted, I brought in very few items at a time. I found a place for each little thing and when I thought the furniture surfaces were covered enough, I stopped. There are still a few knick-knacks that need to move in, but I’m evaluating (at least for what’s mine) whether I need them or if they could belong elsewhere in the house. Keeping furniture dusted and clutter-cleared is ideal for a stress-free space. And I know it might sound like a novel idea, but try making your bed every morning! Even if the surrounding atmosphere is a disaster, a made bed has a way of transforming a bedroom to look neater. We’ve kept our room sparkling for a week and it’s now my favorite space in the house to be.
The most important rule of thumb is to 4) shift your master bedroom to the top of the list for maintaining and decorating simply because it belongs to you and your spouse exclusively. Investing time and/or a little bit of cash into it works wonders and makes you both want to be there. And I will tell you this: knowing my husband put so much effort into our room just for me made me feel like a million bucks – truly loved and appreciated; and my enthusiasm for creating and cultivating a place for him to relax makes him feel valued and important, especially since he’s hard at work all day long. No matter your what stage of marriage, it’s good for every couple to have a place of their own to be on their own.
Just out of curiosity…
I’ve heard a million perspectives from both sides of the fence: TV or no TV in the Master Bedroom? Leave your answer in the poll and tell me why in the comments.
I’ve read numerous places that having any kind of screen in your bedroom (turned on or off) leads to insomnia, distraction and restlessness. The bedroom should be a haven of peace… there’s just no need to bring the outside world in!
Our bedroom has become the “catch all” to our house. As much as we demand that no kid stuff makes it into the room, we find ourselves navigating a mine field of toys and clothing on our way to bed at night. We still have a co-sleeper as well, so there’s that. This has been some much needed inspiration. 🙂
Our bedroom is a disaster — has been for the 6 1/2 years we’ve been married, in every apartment we’ve lived in. I wish it could be a clean haven, but it never makes it to the top of my to-do list. About the TV — when we got married we never had cable run to our bedroom because we wanted to make sure if we spent time watching TV that it was together. We wanted to avoid any possibility of us retreating to separate rooms to watch TV alone. It’s worked for us, and I really never consider changing it. Plus, I don’t like TV in the bedroom….but I rarely watch TV as it is.
I should leave a “but” clause here. No, we don’t have a tv in the bedroom, but at night I like to wind down in our room, and sometimes that means watching videos on my iPad while my husband tunes into “how to” videos on YouTube. I don’t have a problem with it, because when we reach a certain time, we both put our devices away and talk to one another.
While we’ve managed to paint our bedroom from the awful fluorescent purple it was when we moved in to a calmer light gold (it only took 3 coats of paint!), there are still no photos on the walls. That is something we very much need to fix – that and keeping the clutter at bay!
We have a TV in our bedroom, but seldom use it. We retreat to our room for quiet time, which usually involves reading a book.
Great post!! it is easy to leave the master bedroom and bathroom at the bottom of the list…especially our master bathroom. But I’m generally a stickler for a picked-up, quiet master bedroom, with my bed made, my night stand and dresser not overflowing with junk, and NO TOYS ALLOWED. 🙂
A friend of mine who is a nun once told me that persistent messiness in your personal outer surroundings sometimes can indicate interior messiness. Obviously we are all going to let things get to be a mess sometimes, even a lot of times as normal moms, but living in a mess of a house or master bedroom all the time may sometimes be an indicator of a deeper problem we can work on.
Another thing about having a nice, peaceful bedroom, is that I really think it helps you want to spend, ahem, *quality* time in the bedroom with your husband. 🙂
I’m proud of you Katie! Such insight…and as always for things that inspire – easier to say, harder to do. But still, use the “5 minute magic” and it’s amazing what can get done!