We have some dear friends who are being stationed to upstate New York and on their way out of town, they generously gave of their time to pay our family a visit. My admiration for this couple is great because within their first year of marriage, they endured a painfully long deployment which the husband, a captain in the USAF, had completed just two days prior. He was gone for several months while she stayed in the U.S. selling their home and preparing them for reassignment.
To cut to the chase, our house was a a complete disaster when they came over. In forgetting our plans to host, I opted for a nap over tidying while the boys were down earlier in the day. How rare.
note: not my kitchen – I don’t think I have the humility to publish a photo of any of our messes; photo by cafemama
The longer we sat in our wrecked living room and the more I looked around at the mess, the more embarrassed I became. Growing up, I was taught the importance and courtesy behind presenting a neat home to visitors and our house was anything but inviting. Books, toys, a heap of laundry, dust, my desk hidden somewhere underneath piles of mail and junk, a nightmare of a kitchen, and a mess of a shoe pile greeted our guests along with two hosts who were clearly unprepared and slightly flustered. Our 2 1/2 year old timidly hid himself in the hall with some toys while our 14-month-old pulled on me, screaming and fussing for most of their visit. The atmosphere was less than ideal and very, very humbling.
Our conversation was pleasant and I apologized for our home’s ravaged state to our distinguished guests, who very politely dismissed it. When they left, I finally had the chance to scratch the nagging itch to clean. In an needlessly hurried state, Andrew and I organized the shoes, picked up the clutter, tidied the living room, put toys away, and then stopped ourselves. What was the point? They were gone. Though these small chores needed to be done regardless, any efforts made now toward hospitality for the captain and his wife were ineffective. Too little, too late.
I let out a defeated chuckle.
And soon realized the spiritual analogy.
Advent is a time of preparation, of anticipating a distinguished Guest into one’s home. He will arrive whether I’m prepared or not; and though I hope I’m always ready to welcome Christ and relish in his presence, there are degrees of preparedness. My house (and even appearance) was hardly fit to be seen, but still I was glad to see and catch up with our friends and I was able to let go of what hadn’t been done in order to enjoy their company. While I hope they would consider themselves welcome in our home because of our personal reception, the atmosphere itself was not inviting. I want to be certainly and totally ready for Christ through my prayer, my behavior, my speech, and the ways I live my vocation as a wife and mother. I want him to know of my eagerness for his company at the mere sight of my kept-up soul.
Oh, come, Thou Key of David, come
And open wide our heavenly home:
Make safe the way that leads on high
And close the path to misery.
Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanual shall come to thee,
O Israel!
really nice analogy, but give yourself a break, kids, the holidays, the home, the husband, the blog, it’s alot! God bless you.
🙂 THANK you, Melanie…it’s so true. I am hard on myself, but couldn’t miss the chance for a good Advent reflection.
God bless you and your family!
I think you showed extraordinary love to your guests, they did not come to see your house. I am sure they felt welcomed and loved. You did what was most important. I don’t think the Lord will judge you by your house, but by your soul. I know you will be generous with Him too.
Paulette
I’ve been in that situation before and understand your feelings! What a wonderful analogy to help us all reflect on the season! Thanks.
I struggle with being unprepared mess-wise and having guests over too! It doesn’t happen all that often, like with you, but when it does and I struggle a little with the house being extremely messy, I don’t think my heart is out to impress–I honestly think it’s more out to be welcoming and to make people comfortable. I know I don’t feel comfortable in extremely messy homes. I think that maybe there is the beauty and comfortable feeling of a home that is “lived and loved in,” and then there is that uncomfortable feeling of “there is something deeper going on here behind all this mess.” Toys out are OK, a sink full of dishes is OK, a load of laundry waiting on the couch is OK. The couch cushions off the couch and wet chalk from the backyard in the armchair and a dishwasher of clean dishes along with an hour of dirty dishes to wash on the counter and mildewey towel smell emanating from the laundry room is not OK. At least with me. I can do at least a little better than that. Most of the time. 🙂
I could be totally off the mark…just wanted to let you know I appreciate your honesty and struggle with the same things. Thanks for the beautiful Advent reminder, though. Really a blessing. 🙂
Something tells me that your visitors looked around your living room and saw a loving, secure and ” well used” home, enjoyed by two little boys. It is not a museum (thank goodness!). I would imagine if theyhad found complete neatness and sterility, it would have been odd indeed! I have experienced the same anxiety, yet fully understand the fingerprints and dirt in other folks’ homes when I visit and I find it very normal! Such is a mother’s brain….trying to be perfect, yet understanding that kids create a certain amount of chaos. You probably made your visitors’ day very special. Good job, Katie. I love your column. By the way, my three kids are all teenagers and it is still a bit of chaos around here! But I see them slowing getting ready to leave the nest and I will miss it all.