This October marks the 42nd annual Respect Life Month in America, a celebration made every year calling Catholics to “renew their personal commitment to defend human life” (USCCB). The idea itself brings to mind the unborn, those under the death penalty, as well as the dying; and while these people are without a doubt, the most vulnerable, one particular cause sits quietly in the corner, often overlooked. In a time when we rally passionately for RESPECT LIFE, it’s important to examine how well we offer that respect in our homes. In other words, how pro-life are we to those living under the same roof?
Blessed Mother Teresa received the 1979 Nobel Peace Prize and one reporter asked her, “What can we do to promote world peace?” She responded quite simply: “Go home and love your family.”
And isn’t that the truth? Think about it: if you want to change the world, if you want respect for life to spread, it has to start within the domestic church. The family is the basic building block of the Catholic Church and what happens there happens in the world at large. Where else can respect for life begin?
Consider society’s general attitude towards children. Often regarded as road-blocks to living life to the fullest (e.g. I can’t afford vacations if I have kids) or checking off daily to-dos (there’s no time to get things done if my little ones are at home), it’s easy for children to learn that they’re an inconvenience; an outlook that perpetuates itself when they grow up to have kids of their own, or perhaps no kids at all. Respect in marriage can be an uphill battle too, since the media tends to scoff at self-sacrifice in any relationship and tends to paint men and women in obnoxious caricature, skewing or slandering our natural gifts. If we’re not careful, these ideas can seep into our own attitudes, shifting our focus from others to self; and once that happens, then the inclination to demand more for ME ME ME grows at an unfortunate rate.
And so I propose the following ways to be pro-life in our homes, to ensure that children are loved, spouses regarded and respected, and ultimately, the world changed:
pinned from The Catholic Connection
1) Lend an ear and a hand: From littlest children to biggest bread-winners, everyone needs an open ear to receive them. With our small boys at home, their trivial concerns revolve around misplaced pacifiers and broken Hot Wheels; but in their bite-sized world, these big problems need to be addressed and doing so conveys that I love and respect them. Similarly, if my husband has a need or desire different from mine, I shouldn’t leave him to fend for himself when I could work by his side. To love Andrew is to make his concerns my own instead of shrugging them off or even resenting him for having needs at all.
2) Be a praying family: Make prayer part of your family’s culture. Pray on the way to school, say a Chaplet of Divine Mercy on the way home, read scripture after dinner or teach your children about the Sunday readings at bedtime on Saturday nights. Pray before bed, meals, and any time in between; and incorporate God and Catholicism into your conversation. Simply put, immerse your family in faith and respect will flow.
3) Trim the fat: My vocation as a wife and mother is my life’s work. Though I have other hobbies and interests, nothing I do calls for more loving attention than marriage and parenthood. If spouses or kids are involved in so many extra activities that it distracts from family, consider cutting one or two to make room for what’s fundamentally important. Fill the empty time slots with time together.
It’s good to go beyond our front doors to cater to those in need, but the challenge within the pro-life movement comes when we look through our own windows to the family members who need more love, respect, and attention. Deliberately respecting our family members will encourage respect for those we meet outside our homes and, by Mother Teresa’s advice, we can save lives and change the world one loving gesture at a time.
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Original edition printed/posted to The Catholic Connection
This is such a great article–thank you. 🙂