The struggle I have is an on-going one (for years) between two parts of me: Shopper and Simple.
Our Advent mantle
Fact: I thrill in shopping. Home decor, home projects, craft projects, clothes/accessories for myself or any of my men (big or small), finding and recreating ideas from Pottery Barn or Pinterest, etc. I find an idea, get totally stuck on it, obsess over it, analyze it, then purchase. I get psyched over good deals and arranging seasonal decorations on our mantle.
Fact: My soul delights in simplicity and littleness. At times I feel drawn to purge ourselves of any and all hints of excess to live a monastically domestic life; a life void of possessions and frills. You can have a bed, a lamp, rosaries, and a book. Wait, you have 10 fingers – give your beads to the poor. When considering what my vocation would be, I thought I’d either like to get married or live a cloistered life of just the Monstrance and me. Zero material distraction. After all, you can’t take it with you.
I can’t tell you how often Shopper and Simple argue. Andrew and I have an old, beat up, very cheap bookshelf in our dining room and I’d love to replace it because of its generally unsightly appearance; however, it functions just fine and Simple thinks we should keep it because there’s nothing wrong with it. Shopper wants a more substantial shelf that will look much nicer and likely last longer. So it goes with other STUFF around the house – things that pass for function but would never win a beauty contest (Don’t get me wrong, we have been blessed with a darling home, I’m speaking toward less foundational details). Similarly, I’m on the hunt for a pair of tall yellow rain boots wide enough to accommodate my soccer-player calves (No, I don’t play soccer, but you’d never know from my calves) and being worn over jeans; after a truly exhaustive search, I found one pair to fit the bill, but their price is much more than I’m usually comfortable spending on myself. Do I forget the rain boots and live simply or do I save up and go for it, knowing these boots will be put to good use for a good while?
photo by AlicePopkorn2
When casually submitting this inner conflict to a priest, he replied that there’s nothing inherently wrong with material possessions – especially decor as it cultivates a sense of welcome and homey-ness – and that as long as I’m being moderate with my spending, I’m good to go. I think Simple was looking for some sort of harsh prescription for sacrifice and suffering, though, which I know is a little extreme when actually prescribed temperance.
Fact: I don’t want a lot of stuff, but I would like the stuff I have to be quality and long-lasting. I’m trying to prep for another Yard Sale (yipee!!) and I find I’m being pretty ruthless when discerning whether to trash, keep, or sell our things. Part of me feels ridiculous even discussing and publicizing this reflection because it’s so clearly a first-world problem; there are people without water, food, shelter even here in the U.S. and I’m fussing over rain boots.
UGH – your thoughts? Am I totally alone on this?
I completely understand your inner struggle, as I often think about “things” exactly the same way. I try to purge regularly and limit what I purchase to items that my family needs or that will bring us joy and peace in our home. So craft projects and home redecorating supplies usually make the cut, because my kids thrill in doing these types of activities with us and we love to entertain others in a pleasant home. But when the project is done, I share and donate the extra that we don’t need. It’s hard to keep a balance when your heart is pulled to extremes, isn’t it?
By the way, I recently began reading your blog, and I’m really appreciating your thoughts. Thank you for challenging me to live my faith.
I love the way you put it: “It’s hard to keep a balance when your heart is pulled to extremes, isn’t it?” Yes, yes it is; but your suggestion to donate the extra and unnecessary is so good. Thank you!
I’m so glad you’re enjoying the blog, I’m honored to receive such a comment.
I share in this struggle as well, so good to hear I am not alone in this….. Perhaps it is in the struggle that we are called to include God in the decisions. I sometimes remember to ask God… “is this a purchase you want me to make… you know the future Lord…. will this item be a blessing for myself and my family?” I honestly wish I would remember to pray that prayer more. May we thank God that we are aware of the need to keep life simple, as many do not even give it a thought.
Yup! I go through this exact struggle! Especially with looking for deals, sometimes I waste time looking for the best deal, when I should spend a little more, get what I need, and not lose time and money in the search. It’s always hard to find the balance.