“Only a life lived with meaning is worthy of rest.” – The Chosen
reading 101 Dalmatians for the bazillionth time
Being a father is a 24/7, for-the-rest-of-your-life duty and honor. It can be fairly easy to come by, whether a man is the father in a family, the pastor of a parish, or a father figure to another; but, the weight of this role demands diligence, fortitude, and humility. What can be daunting about fatherhood are the essential tasks of teaching sons how to be holy men, showing daughters what devotional love is, and ultimately leading children to heaven; none of which are easily done and all require a life-long effort to establish an eternal effect. As if fatherhood isn’t challenging enough, those called to it are charged with these tasks whether they understand it or not; it happens naturally. All little eyes and ears are on Dad – absorbing his every word and whim and adopting them as their own. Reflecting on my experience, it’s true that my own excellent father set the bar for my expectations in a husband, and my sister’s as well. Likewise, his confident demeanor and approach are echoed in the life of my successful brother. What fathers do, their children will do, in all aspects of life. This alone necessitates that they set the example of holiness and responsibility for their children; show affection so children learn how to show it to others; respect their children’s mother whether married to her or not; and through it all, show kids that being their dad is fun and enjoyable. No problem, right?
Contrary to what you may think so far, this isn’t an article written for dads. It’s written for children and mothers. My above list enumerating the aspects of fatherhood is by no means exhaustive – there is much more to it and, as many of you know, parenthood is no light task and is rarely accommodating to one’s original plans. It’s TOUGH and it can’t be done alone. No matter what our lot in life, we all need encouragement and opportunities to recharge. Considering the significance and gravity of being a father, it is certain that they especially need support to keep going. Anyone can run on fumes, but it sure makes things difficult and it’s hardly ideal, let alone efficient. Depending on how the father in your life best receives it, there are countless ways to help him feel affirmed and appreciated. (Please note that all of the following can be adjusted for your parish priest, who like any other father, could use the support!) My husband is strengthened when I tell him he is my hero, that his hard work and love for our family is noble and admirable. I tell him that I love watching him be a dad and that I’m so very proud of how he handles the boys with confidence. I build him up in the eyes of our two-year-old: “Why don’t you show Daddy how you can count? He’ll be so excited!” or “Let’s ask Daddy about airplanes, he knows so many things!” as well as “Let’s take your toy to Daddy – I bet he can fix it.” It’s important to foster and nurture admiration for Dad in the eyes of your children. Though one of our sons is just 2 years and the other, 8 months, what I sow now will reap huge benefits later when they seek Andrew’s advice of their own accord and consider his wisdom when making their own decisions. In turn, it allows Andrew to exercise his leadership in our family more thoroughly and everyone’s self-esteem gets a boost. Words and quality time are great supports, but when the house seems too small for him to spread his wings, I make sure to give Andrew a break to strike out on his own, which usually includes Bass Pro and local fishing hole or a night out with his buddies. I’ll bake him cookies and try to present a truly peaceful and welcoming home. Most importantly, I pray for him and my own dad and tell them that I do so. The gift of prayer is certainly the most powerful, encouraging, and the most fruitful.
Andrew and Thomas – 5 Oct. 2011
Being a father, whether of children or a congregation, is a call not for the faint-hearted, but for the bold and the faithful. While those called to fatherhood are charged with guiding little souls to God among the multitude of other demands, those of us who receive their guidance are called to respond to their efforts and remind them of our gratitude.
Father’s Day is this Sunday – what will you do this week to show your husband, father, or parish priest that you appreciate and support him?
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Originally written for The Catholic Connection – June 2012 issue.
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